Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Randomize
