He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
