god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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