You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
