I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
