youre lurking in front of me
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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