like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
