I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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