you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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