What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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