i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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