My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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