i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
