I'm so fucking centered right now
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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