fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
