How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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