Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
