yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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