i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
