I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
