So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
