Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
