idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
