OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
