i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
