I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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