im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
