I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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