question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
