Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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