you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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