that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
