We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
