Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
