I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
