Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
