I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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