In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
