i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
