I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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