Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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