Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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