that's an acceptable place to lick
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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