? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
