I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize