I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
