he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I think i got beer on your cat.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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