I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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