Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
