i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
