3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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