Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
