gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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