Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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