It's just like the Real World with babies
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
