hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Randomize
