i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
