he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
